The Mildly Alarming Podcast
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Two amateur board game designers; two microphones; two tall Gin & Tonics. We discuss games we like, games we hate, design ideas, and what it's like to live with a giant spider in a cabin in rural Wisconsin.

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    68 | Sick Die Roll, Bruh

    Can you flick a die off the back of your hand while hopskotching, shoot it under a leg, have it bounce off the door, onto the table, into Gary's mouth, out his second mouth, and have it land exactly where you want it? No? Then we absolutely want you for our Dungeon Fighter review. Plus commercials involving jungle cats, sticky balls of rich, lustrous theme, and a hit new crime drama.

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    67 | Karf! Karf karf! Karf!

    This week's podcast is largely just us talking about a different episode of a different podcast which aired over two years ago. Because we are professionals. But stay tuned after that for the announcement of an exciting new product from the makers of your favorite sweet-and-savory dessert pastry, and also a new Mildly Alarming Theatre. About liver! It's an action-packed episode! And by "action" we mean "meat products".

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    66 | This is Where You Get Your Kicks At

    Protospiel has come and gone again, and the boys talk about what they saw, the feedback they got, and how John "The Iron Lion" Chaffer suplexed thirty men and one musk ox through a brewery floor. We didn't enter this year's Protospiel Rasslin' Championship, but after seeing that musk ox plummet into the depths of hell, we're kinda glad we didn't. Plus something about toilets, and a special message from astronaut Vic Chefterly.

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    65 | Interview with the Axe Cop Guy (Not a Vampire)

    Through a combination of dark magic, enormous bags filled with hard cash, and shameless begging, your hosts land an interview with Ethan Nicolle, author of Axe Cop, Bearmageddon, and a bunch of other rad stuff. We talk about drawing pictures, writing stories, and then get interrupted by either ravenous bears or the wrath of God (it's unclear). Plus ads for a boarding school, and a special message from a Pacific rim nation.

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    64 | The Calm Before the [Game Design] Storm

    The boys are SO PUMPED for the upcoming Protospiel game convention that they just have to spill all of their secrets onto the internet for every rival game designer to steal. So enjoy that, rival game designers! Plus commercials for two other shows, and Tom possibly getting his stupid ass fired from the job that pays his rent. He's real dumb.

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    63 | Better Safe Than Racist

    It's funny, because there's definitely audio attached, but neither of us has any recollection of making it. That means we don't have any responsibility for the content, right? We're gonna go with right. None of this is our fault, and we can't, say, have all of our assets frozen for putting it on the internet. Really, isn't it YOUR fault for playing it in the first place? In this scenario, are you not, in fact, the villain?

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    62 | Play a Ham Like the Bongos

    Tonight on the Mildly Alarming Podcast, the boys discuss trading in games, and whether or not fistfuls of raw, unprocessed cash should constitute a valid means of interacting with other players. Then it's onward and upward when we take Risk and The Resistance and smash them together in our version of the Large Hadron Collider, which is just us talking on the internet, there are no hadrons. Plus an update on the finest sporting event known to man, and also something else. Podcasts!

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    61 | A Parliament of Snakes

    It's like this. You go down to the VFA and vote for a delegate. The delegate votes for an elector. The elector votes for a representative. The representative goes to a cabin. The cabin is in the woods. The woods take a poll of various dogs, foxes, and species of birds. The results are given to the representative, who reads them, and picks a snake. The snake is now in charge. It's not a great system, but it's the system we have. Enjoy the Mildly Alarming Podcast as your snake overlords decide who to constrict and devour first.

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    60 | Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em

    In a truly amazing feat, the lads managed to make it through an entire segment on casino games without once mentioning Kenny Rogers or his seminal song, "The Gambler." Their failure will surely be met by swift and savage retribution from the Kennocracy. If they don't hurry, they'll be taken via freight car to a Kenny Rogers Roasters, there to be Kenny Rogers Roasted.

    They, um, should probably stop typing this and start running. Anyway, the Mildly Alarming Podcast, everyone!

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    59 | Pretty Little Souped Up Four Wheel Drive

    See, the thing is, that two people build a thing together, and it's theirs. It doesn't belong to just one of them. They sit down to play a board game, and they agree to the rules, and then one of them is jim-jamming the cards, or frosting their dice, or some other rule-breaking crap. And what's the other one supposed to do? What do you do when somebody you trusted takes the whole thing and throws it in the trash? Destroy their car, clearly.

    This, ah, bit will make sense by the end of the episode. Trust me. I'm a doctor.

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